Piano Del Cuore – After Hours
By Farirai Manonose
Where did you go on that fateful day? Where can I find you? I see you sometimes in my peripheral vision. I see you all the time in my dreams after hours. You are flesh and blood, right here next to me but when I touch you, you have gone. Time loses meaning when you are not there. Time lost meaning when you were here. I take comfort in the knowledge that time and space are human constructs, so perhaps you are here, and perhaps I am there. Perhaps we are together everywhere.
You will not remember, oh Eloise, the first time I ever saw you. It was long before you saw me, and turned your bright smiling eyes in adoration of mine. You stood on the sand, captivated by the ocean. I stood a little way away, captivated by you. The sun-kissed your golden skin, and the wind caressed your hair. You caught me staring, but didn’t seem bothered. We looked at one another for a moment, and then, you left. I told you this, sometime later, but you did not remember. For you I had been a momentary interest maybe a passing curiosity; that could have been the theme of our lopsided love.
Who could have imagined that I would one day have you in my arms? Even for a short moment, a small infinity of our own. I imagined us to be star-crossed souls. One to admire and you to be admired. Light and dark, the sun and the moon. Born to dance around a single point. Our meeting would be cataclysmic. A bending of the laws of physics. But meet we did, and our unequal love blossomed. Yet now you have gone, and I can do nothing but wait for you to return.
Do you remember, oh Eloise? The sun-dappled forest where we first met? I knew as I shook your hand then like I know now that I would forever be held captive by the curve of your smile and the flutter of your lashes. Return to me like you always do, after hours. When I have blown out the candles and laid my head to rest. What a joy it is when I feel the pressure of your presence. We cannot touch, but it is enough for me to see you, to feel that you are here. So return to me Eloise, after hours.
Do you remember, Oh Eloise, that first kiss as we danced under the summer sky?
“Hello,” I said.
“Hi,” you replied.
I loved you fiercely then and I love you fiercely now. I am envious of the man I see in my mind, dancing with you until the sun dips beneath the ocean. That night as we lay in the soft sheets of your bed, I could not think, or speak, or do anything but feel. We were energy you see. We were light and dark, the sun and the moon. Born to dance around a single point. Our joining was cataclysmic. A bending of the laws of physics.
I imagined I was only there to reflect your light, your beauty, and your glory. Tell me, dear Eloise, what happens when the sun leaves the moon all on its lonesome? I imagine he waits in endless darkness. I imagine that even a shadow of the star that he once danced with is enough to drown him in all the memories of the future that could have been.
What joy is there in driving on an open road If you’re not next to me raising your hands and screaming with joy, the sun illuminating your golden locks like a halo? What rest can I find in a bed that is not warmed by your soft skin? It is only after hours when I see you in my dreams that the world seems to once again be full of beauty. Your laugh is a well springing forth with sunshine and brightness. In my dreams, I am cradled in the melody of its sound. Oh, that I would remain in those dreams forever. Drifting in the ocean of your eyes. Oh that the nights would never end, so I would never lose you when daylight breaks.
I wish you knew, dear Eloise how I curse my eye-lid flutters at the touch of the morning sun’s light. How I wish I would never be roused from the sweet comfort of your presence. I walk, I eat, I work and I drive, and yet I do nothing but wait for your return. That moment when all the lights are off, and the silence of the night envelopes my melancholic soul; I lay in the dark after hours and open my eyes to find myself back on the sand looking at my favorite thing to see. You are captivated by the ocean, and I am captivated by you.
One day, I know, I will not return from my dreams. Will you remember me, oh Eloise?
