Lights off
By Norma Vásquez specially written for ‘’Reminisce’’ by Piano Del Cuore.
It was always easy to turn on the light. In fact, without light, I would not have the memories that come with me today. Light is, without a doubt, a crucial element in the creation of memories. It has always been magical for me how we, humans, have the capacity to capture light and reflect it on surfaces. Yes. Magical. Or maybe unreal. I don’t know. The best legacy of mankind is this: the ability we have to catch moments and capture them. To make them eternal.
Eternity is a simple word, but it’s overrated. We can all be eternal, even if it is only for a few seconds. Eternity is subjective… it is rooted in one’s perception of light. That light I need. That light helps me capture moments and make them immortal. But let’s not get lost. We were talking about eternity, and how easily misleading it can be. I have been eternal. Maybe I still am, but I’ve changed eternities. I moved to an eternity where silence is my companion. At least he is faithful. Fun fact about silence: he doesn’t judge you; he doesn’t push you; he listens to you (even though it sounds weird, but he does). I don’t think I can explain to you the sweet comfort you feel when you share with silence. Of course, as long as silence is a voluntary choice. I know it’s not the same to be forced into silence than to choose it… there is an unbridgeable gulf between those two realities, that’s indisputable.
However, for those of us who were able to choose silence, and move with it to a new eternity, with new lights and new memories, it is welcoming and also healing. It helps a lot. Countless have been the times when our thoughts screamed louder than any light, or any silence, even louder than any voice. But we didn’t listen to them, because the noise of everyday life kept us away. Laughter, the sounds of nature, the tinkling of kisses… incredible and pleasant sounds, right? But… isn’t it strange that even in the midst of all that noise, our thoughts shouted louder? Aiming to talk, wanting to alert… but we ignored them… we ignore them as much as we can until we can’t anymore, and silence becomes necessary.
A new and peaceful silence, where one can be at peace with oneself, that silence I mean. I hope not to cause misunderstandings, okay? I also love noise. Those noises I already mentioned allow you to reach new lights and new memories. Oh, those noises are also necessary, we all have to have been able to live them to then, with the property of one who listens to himself, take a leap into the abyss of the unknown silence.
There is some truth in what I am telling you, and I must be honest: it wasn’t always like that. It will not always be like this. Silence is not an eternity worth living forever. Only from time to time it’s interesting to be able to navigate in silence. It wasn’t always like this because once upon a time, a few memories ago, my noises were bright, shining, and unbridled. They were noises of joy, and I liked my voice to be lost among them. These noises are like little lightning bolts, the kind that untimely burst into your room with the morning sun and bathe your face…? Most of the time they are pleasant (laughs).
I can properly say that I enjoyed listening to my voice dancing hand in hand with those noises… I am not saying that I’ll close myself to the possibility of repeating the experience… but maybe in another eternity, with other lights, with other voices, with other memories. In the meantime, of course, I cannot erase the memories; memories cannot be erased, at most, they can be ignored, or perhaps get put in a drawer, but they will always be there, with their own light and their own eternity.
It is not that I want to erase my memories either. They are faithful pieces that remind me of what I am, what I lived, and what I chose not to live. They are a constant reason to keep laughing, singing, catching lights, or shouting along with the noises. No. It is not right to want to forget the memories. Even though many lights have become shadows, shadows exist so that we can appreciate the light.
Learning to treasure the shadows is not such a bad process, you know? Like eternity, treasures are overrated. A wound can be a treasure. A tear can also be a treasure. Not all treasures shine like gold. They all have in their essence a spot of light, yes, one that shines, but also one that, with time, has lost its light. In spite of everything, these are still a treasure, and a more important one, I would say… because they are the ones we are most careful not to let people know about, out of fear, out of shame… and that is fine, but… it is also right to recognize that the treasures that are not worthy of exhibition, form an important part of our collection, and although that section is private, we should feel proud because thanks to those treasures, those that could be marked as “mistakes”, is that today we shine with a light of our own.
It is not easy to walk in the shadows, it is not easy to capture memories if there is no light, but by trying, we become adventurers, those who are always looking for the desired treasure, and when they get it, they display it publicly. What joy, what happiness! Nothing compares to that moment where we are on top… except, perhaps, the moment when everything continues to happen, normality arrives, and the treasures are no longer in the public domain and we no longer want everyone to see them. It happens to all of us, but as I said before…
Once upon a time, I have been eternal. Maybe I still am, but I’ve changed eternity. I forgot to mention that, to change eternity, it is necessary to turn off certain lights, but, don’t worry, there will always be new lights to treasure and live in another eternity.
